Monday, March 24, 2014

The dreaded week...

It's Monday, it's surgery week... blah.  Maybe I'm overly nervous since it's my first time to be put to sleep, or what the results are going to be, or what I'm going to say in recovery.. lol.. I'm trying to have some humor with the process. It seemed like it was forever away with the oncologist appointment, but I'm so thankful I waited to schedule it for now, since life has been completely crazy since that day. Tomorrow, I'm on a liquid diet before the surgery then nothing after midnight. The Dr. does surgeries from 5:30-9:30am, and they haven't done my pre-op since it was so far in advance. Therefore, we will find out by 2:00pm tomorrow what time to be there and when my surgery is scheduled for. They said if everything goes as planned I should be released by noon Wednesday. I'm pretty sure I will be more than ready to be home. Steven is taking off Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to help me since they said I will be in bed for 3-4 days afterwards. I cannot lift more than a gallon of milk for 3 weeks which is going to be super difficult to explain to a 2 year old that loves his mama holding him. I'm pretty sure I'm going to con him for the next 36 hours to have to cuddle and sit with me. I will go back for my post-op appointment and to discuss what the treatment options and further appointments will be like on April 14th.  Regardless, I will see the oncologist for 5 years for checkups, alternating with my gynecologist in Texarkana. Please, please be in prayer for my nerves and the dr.'s steady hand. Please pray that being put to sleep and waking up will go smoothly, and that I won't get sick on the way home. Also, be in prayer that they find normal cells that can populate and take over, and that the cancer cells have not broken through the cervix or moved to any other organs.  I know God has a plan and this is part of the big picture of our life.

Some people have asked how we found this, my treatment, and my dr.'s. I am always open to talk about the procedures and process we have been going through since September. I'm hoping to update and share all of my journey along the way.

Yesterday and today, I have been angry. I have asked why me a lot? I know there are always days like this during the tribulation. I just want to cry, but thankful Hudson keeps me busy and trying not to think about it. I'm so blessed, scared, anxious, and tired of worrying... and ready for this chapter to be complete, hopefully.

I'm hoping to start putting up the meals and recipes, since I have had positive response on the meals I have been posting to instagram and facebook. Eventually, I hope to have only a dinner blog and not have to blog about the yucky stuff.

Please remember to pray Wednesday morning for safe travels and the procedure, I will try to blog later in the week... and remember to always put the Lord first, even when we don't understand his plan.

Love always,

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